Just want to cry and share my pain..........?

i am a married woman fall in love with a guy...we both were badly in love with...my husband was alredy committed to some other woman befor my marriage and evn aft knowing that i married him coz i belived that everythg will be fine aft my marriage....but he never changed and couldnt make me his wife...after a year i met this guy through internet..he helped me to find my job...and supported me..used to talk with me 24 hours...and was aking about ever little tings about me like what i did..and al.. i got attechtd and fell in love with him...he too wanted to marry me..he asked his paretns but they denisd..we decicid to be lovers lifelong..marriage is not our destination...in next our birth we will pray god to make us real couple...like that lfe was going...i was so happy and satified with wtevr he was giving me...i nevr asked for any gifts or money from him...but i uesd to sell my own jwellry to buy him gifts...to go for movie or anywher....coz i dont ask for money from my inlws..he is financially not stable to spend money so i was always spending..i loved him so much...cant imagine my life without him...i was doing all wrong things in his love...he too loved me so much...he fall in love with me evn aft knowing i m married..so true and inocent he was..afte our 1yr relatn he got 1 propsl and he decied to mary that grl..(his fried's sister).. .i even assisted him in his marriage shopping...he said he dnt like the girl he is going to get married but i told him..no she is beautifull...likewise i was changing his mind...soothing him...i was alwaz by on his side to support him...i was having very strong wish to marry him...so just a day befor he left for his village for his married, he married me at his house..in infront of god...he kissed me ... and the he went to his village...after coming from there he started to avoid me..he ws nt answring my call..used to say my wife is not u...i dont love u.....dnt call me....dnt ruin my life...i used to cry...coz i m so attechto to him...he started abusing me...in front of his friend he usd to shout at me on cell...i stopped talking him n cdt eat my food prpoly...used to cry and cry...developed very bad disese TB..lost 17 kgs...was about to die..that time he came again and said pls dont die or else that wil crate prob for me...my wife will come to know evrythg aft ur death ur family members will file complaint aainst me...dnt gv me prob ... and then gave me bad words verbally abused me and left my from life..now, again he came...i was having constant fevr 104 that time also he came and asked abot me that how is my health...i was so frustrted i satrted ask him y u lfet me aft ur marriage .... what was my fault? he said u r blaming me...shameless u r...manhoos u r ...nad me me cry again...waht should i do...i m having oprtaion for my appendinx this friday MAY 20,2011.....i was telling him pls dnt use bad words i m not well then too he continued to abuse me...i m in pain metally and physically...pls tell me is loving somebody crime??? y he did this to me....my friends say he used me...i dont believ them coz i loved him truly...thn y he did like that?? i loved him so much...without expectation just wanted him to be my support lifelong...i gave him everythg he wanted...even my abscence from his life..wt is for me...tears??? lonliness??? y??? he is not letting me die or live eithr..pls help me...